St Valentine lost his head.

Quick post today.

Well, its that time of the year again where our social media explodes with declarations of love, devotion and vomit inducing posts. Personally I fucking HATE this day. Not because I am single (I am my own god damn valentine and I buy the best gifts, I AM a gift!) but just because of the absolute falseness it induces and the way it can make single people feel like utter dog shit.

I honestly want to punch the men I see frantically scrabbling around the supermarkets for a bunch of dog eared fucking roses on the day, hoping that it will magically erase all their shitty below par behaviour of the last 12 months.

The story of St Valentine is not a happy one, he got his head lopped off for illegally marrying couples. Claudius the cruel decided that the reason men were not joining his army was because they were too attached to their wives and families, so he thought fuck this I'll make it illegal, that'll show em! (dick head).

Personally I prefer Lupercalia, which is reported to go as far back as 6 BC, rooted in the story of Romulus and Remus . Legend has it that they created Lupercalia to honor the she-wolf and the Roman fertility god Lupercus. It included ritual sacrifices, random coupling, nakedness, and street drinking. Sounds like a party to me 😂. These rites intended to banish any bad luck and call in prosperity and fertility for the year ahead. Then the Christians got hold of it and turned it into some story about a martyred priest which eventually somehow led to Hallmark cards, fluffy teddy bears, limp garage flowers, over priced chocolates, half arsed sentiments, unremarkable sex, wanky instagram posts ( you didn't see the screaming argument they had ten minutes prior).

No thank you, give me street drinking and a romp through the forest any day!!

There are couples that show love to each other consistently and to those people- I salute you. We should be expressing that love on the daily not for just a poxy 24 hours (some are lucky if they even get 2 minutes...) love isn't gifts, it's showing up every day no matter what.

I'd be interested in the stats on V day - how many couples actually acknowledge it? How many of the ones posting the souped up love story (on steroids) are actually happy in their relationship? If ya gotta shout about it, there's a problem (in my opinion)

I'm not saying that if I was attached I wouldn't do anything to honour it, I probably would, (forest sex and howling at the moon😂🐺aka Sabrina and Nick style) but I'd be safe in the knowledge that its just another day of committing and working together to make the relationship beautiful. Its not all rose petals and champagne, relationships are effing hard work and if you think a bunch of wilted stems are gonna solve all your issues then quite frankly you need to get in the bin and stay there.

Am I bitter? Yes. Do I wish I had a boyfriend posting soppy shit about me on socials? Also yes 😂 but that's not gonna happen any time soon. I'd post something about myself and how great I am and how I've always got my own back, not sure that would be socially acceptable - BUT IT SHOULD BE!!!

Just remember he had his head chopped off.