Heal your anxious attachment - Part 1.

As I have had a LOT of experience with this subject and spent a lot of time working on and healing my own anxious attachment, I thought I would put my knowledge to some good use and make a little series on how I tackled it, in the hope it may help some people.

Its crippling, damaging, rules your life, and is just an absolutely miserable place to be. I would not wish it on anybody.

I am certainly leaning more secure these days, but I am not perfect and I still have the occasional wobble as is human nature, life happens, bad things arise, and healing is something we should always continuously strive for if we want to become the best versions of ourselves.

DISCLAIMER : YOU ARE NOT BROKEN.

Your attachment style was more than likely formed in childhood as a way for your brain to keep you safe. Its not your fault. Its an unconscious pattern. It is however your responsibility to heal it and to stop letting it ruin your life.

Anxious attachment usually stems from inconsistency in parenting - so you may have had one emotionally unavailable parent - or maybe both parents were. Maybe sometimes they gave love and other times they withdrew it - training your brain and nervous system into believing that love cannot be trusted, leaving you uncertain as to whether or not your needs would be met.

Signs you may have an anxious/insecure attachment style -

• Constant fear of being abandoned

• Always needing constant reassurance

• Jealousy

• People pleasing

• Having zero boundaries

• Very low, or no self worth

• Neediness/clinginess

• Mistrust

• Sabotaging the relationship

• Exhibiting 'protest behaviour' (excessive calling/texting/stalking)

• Hypervigilance

• Neglecting your own needs in favour of your partners

• Overthinking

• Over emotional - unable to regulate emotions sufficiently

• Lack of independence

You may some of these, or all of them.

Recognising you have anxious attachment is hard, healing it is harder. But I promise you it will be one of the best things you ever do for yourself.

I only realised I had anxious attachment around 4/5 years ago, and it was a harsh smack in the face. But then EVERYTHING made sense....

Stay tuned for part 2.