2. The dating conundrum

Dating in the modern world. (Shoot me. )

I have been single now for around 8 years, I have dated guys on and off but nothing ever seemed to stick. A lot of that was due to my own issues that took a lot of pushing from the universe to start working on (those 'lessons' ya'll) but also due to HOW we date these days.

Things were different when I was in my teens/early twenties. That makes me sound like a fossil (I'm 40 and yes I know I don't look it) but its the truth! The way technology has advanced in the last 15-20 years is quite frankly astounding.

Our choices as a modern society seem to now be dictated mostly by technology, which can be both wonderous and down right bloody awful.

We didn't have endless dating apps to 'swipe' on with thousands of options. We went out, we met people, had drunken snogs in dark corners, made phone calls (I KNOW RIGHT?!!) wrote letters (me and my first bf wrote to each other a lot - NB, we were at a distance), we'd arrange to meet in certain places ( without the back up of confirmation texts ) we just trusted that the other person would be there. These things seem foreign now, but to me they were the norm.

I have probably tried most of the dating apps so far. I cannot say that any of them have been particularly pleasant. All feature ghosts, zombies, predators, dick pics, the inability to hold a conversation without innuendo or hint towards sex, and down right fucking rudeness. Its too easy for them to disappear, make false promises and project 'ideal' version of themselves. Its basically an advertising site, trying to sell oneself to the highest bidder, a game that none of us take seriously or have a chance in hell of winning Honestly I have got to the point where these apps just disgust me.

I do know a couple of people that have met their soulmates via Tinder, but this seems to be the exception not the rule.

In my experience they either match and don't talk, open the conversation with something sex related, chat endlessly with no mention of a date or they are just completely flat. I have been rendered dissociative and now just mindlessly swipe to pass the time!!

Single women (of a wide range of ages) I have spoken too have all had similar experiences.

I'm not even sure where one would go to try and meet guys at my age, all I know is that I want to meet someone organically and not on a dating app. I am good being single and mostly bloody love it, but I do want that relationship and someone to share things with - and that's alright, its human nature.

I feel more and more women are choosing to stay single and not settling, and that's fucking fantastic, but men, that means you need to up your game and stop bringing the bare minimum cause we ain't standing for it any longer.

Do any of you on these apps actually want a relationship? Or is it just some kind of ego boost? I have matched with guys and messaged them and got nothing back, or we have exchanged 1-2 messages and then poof unmatched.

One other thing that reallllllly winds me up... fake pictures! Just an FYI we can tell when you have nicked a male model photo, the quality difference is glaringly obvious. Oh and we all know who Callum Best is yeah? You are fooling no one.

I mean I need to get out and about more, but the question is WHERE??? Please add suggestions in the comments!

He is not going to magically knock on my door one day and announce his presence (imagine how much easier that would be)

I'll be on the sofa with the dog, drinking red wine and watching spooky films in the mean time.